Editorial: ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas meets Mocksville
Published 10:18 am Thursday, December 17, 2020
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the town
Not a creature was stirring, because of the shutdown.
The parties were scheduled, all with much care,
In hopes that revelers, would soon be there.
The elderly were sheltering, sunggled in their own beds
While visions of visitors, danced in their heads.
And Cooper with his crown, and Cohen with her mask
Vowing to keep us safe, what a thankless task.
When out on the square, there arose such a clatter
I arose from my office, to see what was the matter.
Up the sidewalk, I ran like a flash
Turned my head to the right at the end of that dash.
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
Were wild horses in rainbow colors, why here?
And women and trees, on a building no doubt
Folks in the town began to pout.
But wait, its time for Santa Claus
Maybe they’re reindeer, let’s take a pause.
It’s just art, you’re not all supposed to shudder
From differing opinions of one another.
Go back to town hall, and the county building too
And see who’s in charge, by golly it’s you.
Don’t complain, don’t dismay, don’t chatter
About something silly, that really doesn’t matter.
Imagine it’s Santa, and all his reindeer
Coming to Mocksville, to spread Christmas cheer.
They’re happy, they’re jolly and glad
If horses running for their lives, it would be so sad.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard someone say
I like it, I like it, it’s here to stay.
It makes me proud, that here in my town
We celebrate diversity, up and down.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around
People screamed it’s New Age, sin will abound.
Anti-Christ and gay, there’s no place for that here
Especially at Christmas, it’s the wrong kind of cheer.
I see goddesses and rainbows and stars and the moon
That’s not our town, and I’ll tell you again soon.
We won’t back down, we’re here to say
We’ll rid this town of it’s evil way.
Then I closed my eyes, and wondered out loud
How in the world can a town, stand out in a crowd.
Have a cat as an officer, that might do the trick
To keep us on the map, as hillbilly hicks.
No bed race, no concerts, no parades this year
Bad boy coronavirus, has us in fear.
We’ve stayed home ‘till we’re sick of that place
Want to go out, but what will we face?
Sin on a wall, and oozing out of bars
Why do these people even get out of their cars?
To eat, to drink and to be merry
And top it all off, with a marachino cherry.
Wait, up in the sky, what’s that I hear
Could it be Santa, and all the reindeer?
I hear him say, as he veers out of sight
Merry Christmas to all, and mask up tonight!
– Mike Barnhardt