Michael Jordan Talks His Way To The Ceiling

Published 8:52 am Thursday, March 9, 2017

He had made a nice halftime speech, reaffirming his love for Carolina and thanking the adoring crowd as he pledged new shoes for the football team — hoping to give them a leg up on the competition next fall.

Michael Jordan, the greatest player to ever walk onto a basketball court, then closed with a throw-away line that has confused the world. He might have meant to say, “The sky’s the limit” for the football team while wearing their new shoes.

Instead, he said, “The ceiling is the roof.”

The cyber world went crazy trying to decipher what that meant.

Coach Roy Williams didn’t look too deeply to figure out what the richest athlete in the world with an estimated $1.3 billion personal worth was trying to say.

“He’s Michael Jordan, he can say anything he wants,” the coach explained.

Carolina had gone on to beat Duke in the second half after Jordan’s odd comment, so it must have been a blessing.

• • • • •

The youngest son and I visited Carolina on Friday as part of his continuing tour of prospective colleges. We visited Chapel Hill the day before the game with rival Duke.

There is one figure the young liberals on campus hate more than President Trump: Duke point guard Grayson Allen. He is the reincarnation of Old Lucifer himself. The Devil in dark blue.

One club had a life-sized photo of the Duke player on display. For a donation, people could pin paper teardrops on Grayson Allen, recalling his emotional breakdown earlier this season after being tossed out of a game for a tripping incident.

Hating Duke with fervor is a prerequisite for attending Carolina.

Our student tour guide took us by the dorms and the classrooms, the football stadium, the bell tower, the quad and finally the Old Well where Michael dutifully took a drink.

His major consideration is not the college’s academic standards or the success of the athletic teams. He’s more concerned about the cafeteria, and Carolina smartly gave him a pass for a free lunch. He liked it a lot.

Unlike other college tours, Carolina also gave him a coupon for 20 percent off a t-shirt purchase at the book store. We bought a shirt, and I assumed that had ended his search for colleges.

Back at home, he’s still uncommitted, but he looks smart in the new t-shirt.

I went off to college without ever bothering to look first. Similarly, I dropped my oldest son off at a New York military school without ever seeing it first.

We’re looking carefully this time, kicking the tires.

Also making the tour was fellow Davie High senior Gracie Clark and her father. We naturally gravitated to the same tour guide and chatted throughout the tour and had lunch together. A pleasant time.

As we were parting, Gracie, also a senior at Davie, pulled out a water gun and squirted Michael. Davie High has an annual “Senior Assassins” contest. Participants are given a target to shoot with a water gun — off campus.

She traveled 200 miles and stumbled upon her prey. We spent three hours with her and her father before she moved in for the kill. Very crafty.

• • • • •

Another sign of spring: The first leaves on wild cherry trees appeared yesterday. Bluebirds are flitting about. I put up my purple martin gourds this week. But the long-range weather forecast is showing a chance of snow this weekend.

— Dwight Sparks